| 1 |
Why does Santa never worry about the state of his candy cane collection?Because they’re all in mint condition! |
| 2 |
What do gingerbread men use when they break their legs?Candy canes. |
| 3 |
Did you hear about the candy cane who could talk?He said what he mint. |
| 4 |
Knock, knock.(Who’s there?)Candy.(Candy who?)Candy cane is so sweet, just like you! |
| 5 |
Why did the candy cane cross the road?To avoid getting licked. |
| 6 |
What’s red, white, and blue?A sad candy cane. |
| 7 |
What do you call a candy cane with graduated markings?A measure-mint device. |
| 8 |
Why did the man keep reloading the picture of the candy cane at the potluck?He was in charge of refresh mints. |
| 9 |
A sugar-coated detective walks into a candy shop and sees a distraught candy cane.“What’s the matter?” the detective asks. “I saw it all,” the candy cane sobs. “I saw Santa eat the last cookie!” The detective raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure?” “Absolutely,” the candy cane says. “I saw him with my own eyes!” The detective takes a thoughtful bite out of the candy cane.“Hmm,” he says, “interesting. But I think we need some more evidence. Tell me, what flavor was the cookie?” The candy cane pauses for a moment, then whispers, “Oatmeal raisin.” The detective smiles. “Well, that’s just silly. Santa hates oatmeal raisin cookies.” The candy cane looks up, relieved. “He does?” “Of course,” the detective says. “Who in their right mind would eat an oatmeal raisin cookie?”The candy cane stares at the detective, aghast. “You just ate one!” |
| 10 |
Why did the candy cane have so much energy?Because he’s made of sugar! |
| 11 |
What do you call it when you spin a candy cane?A tournament. |
| 12 |
Does anyone want to buy some candy canes from last year?They’re in mint condition. |
| 13 |
What does someone who grew up in the land of candy use when they get older?A candy cane. |
| 14 |
Why’d the cow save its Christmas candy cane?It wanted that moo-mint for the rest of it’s life. |
| 15 |
What does a candy cane say to another candy cane during a strong storm?“Hurry-cane!” |
| 16 |
What sound does a dog make after eating a candy cane?Peppermint bark. |
| 17 |
What do you call a sharpened candy cane?A spearmint |
| 18 |
Knock, knock.(Who’s there?)Candy.(Candy who?)Candy canes hanging on the Christmas tree. |
| 19 |
Why did the candy cane cross the road?Well, it was stuck to some kid’s shoe! |
| 20 |
What do you call a candy cane that’s lost its stripes?An imposter! |
| 21 |
Santa walks into the North Pole bar, takes a seat, and asks the bartender for his most popular shot.The bartender pours out something that looks like a candy cane. “It’s called ‘Elf Cum.’”Santa cringes, but downs it and remarks, “Gee, that’s really good, but why do you call it ‘Elf Cum’?”The bartender replies, “When I tested it out with Mrs. Claus, she said, ‘That tastes just like Elf cum!” |
| 22 |
What’s something long and hard that you suck on?A candy cane! |
| 23 |
Is that a candy cane in your pocket?Or are you just happy to see me?! |
| 24 |
Yo mama so short, she pole dances on a candy cane. |
| 25 |
What’s the difference between Ornaments, Candy Canes, Jeffrey Epstein, and the Star?You don’t hang the star. |
| 26 |
How do you make an abortion a more pleasant experience?Use a candy cane. |